It’s not necessarily that I have always enjoyed the sight of fat people sweating, or even that I have come to enjoy this phenomenon, so much as I have always been cold. For this reason, I have found the world more delightful in these later years of my life, as I am sure many others have.
We live in America, the country you can count on to lead the world. We can count on America to make things how we want them: bigger, faster, hotter. I am proud to be a part of this effort, to make winters more comfortable, to make heating bills less costly, to turn up the heat, and get places doing it. America leads the world in the consumption of these magnificent hydrocarbons with other major players such as China and India playing in suit. We hold today a reputation for leading the world even stronger than it was after the Second World War.
Not only are we as Americans doing the right thing, our environment is repaying us. Public water bodies such as pools, rivers, and oceans will someday be warm enough to comfortably swim in. Too many fit guys like myself are being forced to wear shirts while they swim to avoid freezing to death. Only we can answer this call.
On top of this, the world around us will swell with life. No longer will plants wither in December, and no longer will we have to spend money to produce structures to protect them from poor weather, we are taking a stand. The air will be thick with oxygen, like a cozy blanket.
Children will be able to spend more time outside, someday even year round. The sports we love to play would never have to stop, and with any luck, any and all Americans will be able to work on their base tans for free.
Historians say that history repeats itself, and that we must know of these pasts if we are ever to escape them. I draw upon a key issue of genocide to conclude my case. Many years ago, our planet was wrought by an entire age of ice, destroying an abhorrent number of dinosaurs, and leading to their extinction.
This was no freak accident, as historians will tell you that there was not one, not two, not three, but four separate occasions in which this world was covered entirely by a storm of ice. Do not go calm into this dark night, stand for our economy, our comfort, and our lives: Warm this globe.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
RaTs!
“Argh me hearties” is not used often enough these days. It is just one of those things you are sad to see go. There are plenty of things you don’t want to see go in this world… this is just one.
The brutality of irony can be best depicted by the world. In this world to move something it takes energy: things at rest tend to stay at rest until acted upon by a force or object. By this logic, things would never leave you unless you asked them to, or made them. Still “argh me hearties” has left us. Damn our culture
I’m sorry… Rats our culture.
It doesn’t change the fact that I am rats-ed off. I blame children really. They always go off into the world wanting to be independent… hating the ones that give them the punishment they need to grow. So they hate other things by association. For these reasons our generation has no work ethic and shitty music. Whoops.
I’m sorry… Rats-y music.
It’s not like we are independent anyway. For one, we are quite dependant for resources. For two, we aren’t actually innovative when it comes to being different. I can’t prove it, but I am almost positive fashion history is repeating itself. I think I heard or read or heard someone reading that once; probably options one or three, because I don’t read that much.
But what do I know other than how to complain. I suppose I can live on that though. Off to complain about something else I suppose. Here goes.
The brutality of irony can be best depicted by the world. In this world to move something it takes energy: things at rest tend to stay at rest until acted upon by a force or object. By this logic, things would never leave you unless you asked them to, or made them. Still “argh me hearties” has left us. Damn our culture
I’m sorry… Rats our culture.
It doesn’t change the fact that I am rats-ed off. I blame children really. They always go off into the world wanting to be independent… hating the ones that give them the punishment they need to grow. So they hate other things by association. For these reasons our generation has no work ethic and shitty music. Whoops.
I’m sorry… Rats-y music.
It’s not like we are independent anyway. For one, we are quite dependant for resources. For two, we aren’t actually innovative when it comes to being different. I can’t prove it, but I am almost positive fashion history is repeating itself. I think I heard or read or heard someone reading that once; probably options one or three, because I don’t read that much.
But what do I know other than how to complain. I suppose I can live on that though. Off to complain about something else I suppose. Here goes.
Of What?
Completion is somehow one of the most difficult things in this world for me to master. I take for example the best example I can think of… the reason I know that this is a problem for me: school. In almost every single situation I receive an obligation I do about ninety percent of it, no matter how small.
This has ironically become even more obvious in the last weeks of this school year. Because I am taking 5 AP classes, and I have taken the tests for all of them, there isn’t much to do in the wide majority of my classes. One would think this would only improve my success in classes that I still have to do good work in when in fact this is not the case.
Despite my workload being only 1/6th of what it was only two weeks ago I often fail to meet quota per se. This doesn’t actually bother me this much, but does raise a question in my mind: how bad is this going to be when I am a senior? People always joke toward the end of the year saying, “oh I’ve got senioritis” but I’m sure that the real thing is twice as harsh.
According to the masses, this Wednesday we become seniors. Will my senioritis suddenly become justified? Will it increase in strength? Will it have no affect? It is truly perplexing what a good title or a good placebo can do. When you become a senior and have a good work ethic, I suppose chances are you won’t lose it until someone asks you, “Think you have senioritis?” It’s like that one guy from that one movie that is convinced that he has mono. Either way I only have ninety percent of that work ethic… it shouldn’t be hard to get rid of.
On a side note of this I would like to address our tendency to shoot for all or nothing. A 100% work ethic person is tough to compromise, while anyone else can be dropped to zero in seconds. It’s like the misguided thought that we have all had sometime as a kid: you get punished, you get mad. Then you decide that seeing as how you are already being punished; why not go out with a bang? Here’s to seniors.
This has ironically become even more obvious in the last weeks of this school year. Because I am taking 5 AP classes, and I have taken the tests for all of them, there isn’t much to do in the wide majority of my classes. One would think this would only improve my success in classes that I still have to do good work in when in fact this is not the case.
Despite my workload being only 1/6th of what it was only two weeks ago I often fail to meet quota per se. This doesn’t actually bother me this much, but does raise a question in my mind: how bad is this going to be when I am a senior? People always joke toward the end of the year saying, “oh I’ve got senioritis” but I’m sure that the real thing is twice as harsh.
According to the masses, this Wednesday we become seniors. Will my senioritis suddenly become justified? Will it increase in strength? Will it have no affect? It is truly perplexing what a good title or a good placebo can do. When you become a senior and have a good work ethic, I suppose chances are you won’t lose it until someone asks you, “Think you have senioritis?” It’s like that one guy from that one movie that is convinced that he has mono. Either way I only have ninety percent of that work ethic… it shouldn’t be hard to get rid of.
On a side note of this I would like to address our tendency to shoot for all or nothing. A 100% work ethic person is tough to compromise, while anyone else can be dropped to zero in seconds. It’s like the misguided thought that we have all had sometime as a kid: you get punished, you get mad. Then you decide that seeing as how you are already being punished; why not go out with a bang? Here’s to seniors.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Of Living A Life of Secrecy
It would completely suck to be Superman, for however much it may or may not rape. Laser beams from eyes and the ability to fly(S) (rhyming) are all well and good, but is it worth conditional personality.
Do you need my help? Okay, then my name is Superman. Do you wanna go on a date? I am some loser by the name of Clark Kent. I wear glasses that are thicker than the base of my shoes, and my hair isn’t greased back in that badass manner. Did I mention the frequent bursts of cognitive dissonance I feel? Am I Superman or not damn it?
Even when you work on this to the point that you get it where you like it you can’t be completely happy. Let’s say Clark stays late at the office, or gets macked up by some chick, or goes swimming or god knows what. Hey Superman, take off your shirt. I would rather not… You tell them that you have chest AIDS and that the shirt needs to stay. Deep down you will know that you just can’t expose your Superman shirt. Whoops.
Now let’s put it in a possible situation. You are grounded from video games, but your parents are constantly gone, here or there. Working your ass off to hide your activities is painful for both thought and stress. After a point you can almost only barely enjoy your game. Living the life of secrecy is hardr work than being a super hero. That’s why Superman is even cooler for doing both.
Do you need my help? Okay, then my name is Superman. Do you wanna go on a date? I am some loser by the name of Clark Kent. I wear glasses that are thicker than the base of my shoes, and my hair isn’t greased back in that badass manner. Did I mention the frequent bursts of cognitive dissonance I feel? Am I Superman or not damn it?
Even when you work on this to the point that you get it where you like it you can’t be completely happy. Let’s say Clark stays late at the office, or gets macked up by some chick, or goes swimming or god knows what. Hey Superman, take off your shirt. I would rather not… You tell them that you have chest AIDS and that the shirt needs to stay. Deep down you will know that you just can’t expose your Superman shirt. Whoops.
Now let’s put it in a possible situation. You are grounded from video games, but your parents are constantly gone, here or there. Working your ass off to hide your activities is painful for both thought and stress. After a point you can almost only barely enjoy your game. Living the life of secrecy is hardr work than being a super hero. That’s why Superman is even cooler for doing both.
Lettuce
Lettuce. If you ever wanted to do something or go somewhere with someone, you might say, “Let’s do something or go somewhere, someone.”
It has been brought to my attention by myself that this speaking is quite out of date. Take, for example, the sentence: Let’s go to the movies. What we mean to say is: We should go to the movies = or = I feel like going to the movies. What we literally say by using that contraction is let us or allow us. Allow us to go to the movies.
This is where I find my trouble. If you are speaking to someone and say the word ‘let’s’ you are almost definitely NOT asking for permission. Imagine hanging out with one of your friends and saying “Let’s go to the arcade,” only to hear your friend reply, “Only if you do my homework for me”
Using the word ‘let’s’ basically establishes yourself as inferior to anyone you speak it to. You are asking them for permission to do things that they would probably find entertaining anyway. It is ridiculous. Dictionary.com lists over thirty different definitions for the word let, all of which essentially: to allow. As for the contraction let’s, it lists 4 definitions all saying a contraction of let and us.
Ironically this is just too deep within our language to remove now. A growing and solidifying tumor of our language: it is here to stay. When I was pressed to think of different ways of phrasing “Let’s go to the movies” earlier on this very page, I was stumped. It took me 10 minutes to think of what I did, and frankly it sucks.
Still I will not stand idly by and watch such servitude. Moses had it right when he said “Let’s go” to Ramses. He wasn’t talking to Ramses saysing, "hey dude, let's go." He was saying, "Let us (the jews) go." Now was that so hard?
When I finish writing something like this I often realize one of three things: 1# no one cares. 2# I am probably worng. and 3# 08CS>SJ08
It has been brought to my attention by myself that this speaking is quite out of date. Take, for example, the sentence: Let’s go to the movies. What we mean to say is: We should go to the movies = or = I feel like going to the movies. What we literally say by using that contraction is let us or allow us. Allow us to go to the movies.
This is where I find my trouble. If you are speaking to someone and say the word ‘let’s’ you are almost definitely NOT asking for permission. Imagine hanging out with one of your friends and saying “Let’s go to the arcade,” only to hear your friend reply, “Only if you do my homework for me”
Using the word ‘let’s’ basically establishes yourself as inferior to anyone you speak it to. You are asking them for permission to do things that they would probably find entertaining anyway. It is ridiculous. Dictionary.com lists over thirty different definitions for the word let, all of which essentially: to allow. As for the contraction let’s, it lists 4 definitions all saying a contraction of let and us.
Ironically this is just too deep within our language to remove now. A growing and solidifying tumor of our language: it is here to stay. When I was pressed to think of different ways of phrasing “Let’s go to the movies” earlier on this very page, I was stumped. It took me 10 minutes to think of what I did, and frankly it sucks.
Still I will not stand idly by and watch such servitude. Moses had it right when he said “Let’s go” to Ramses. He wasn’t talking to Ramses saysing, "hey dude, let's go." He was saying, "Let us (the jews) go." Now was that so hard?
When I finish writing something like this I often realize one of three things: 1# no one cares. 2# I am probably worng. and 3# 08CS>SJ08
No Longer Living
There is a distinctly sounds that come from someone’s face when they say “Around Eleven” and “No Longer Living.” This statement of course is not accurate when you sing for the band disturbed.There is a distinctly sounds that come from someone’s face when they say “Around Eleven” and “No Longer Living.” This statement of course is not accurate when you sing for the band disturbed.
Such an issue has become the cornerstone for my most recent debate with one you might recognize by the name of garbage. Through this debate I have been able to call upon much psychology knowledge, and am therefore proud to be a part of this.
When it came time to bring in some outside rulings on the issue, we drew them over one by one and essentially asked the question: what words do you hear. This audio clip was about the song: Into the fire, by Disturbed. While we agree that this is a completely badass song, our difference lies from the seconds of :36 to :38 in the following video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9jImX7s2yk . We would much love your input on the debate. As if not to add bias or priming to this topic I shall list the two possible phrases uttered within this time period in alphabetical order:
“Around eleven”
“No longer living”
Still without disclosing information I can detail some of the irony we faced. When primed for either version our subject would hear what we asked them to. This was with to fail. Excuse me sir, do you hear Line A? Yes. Then one of us would turn to the other and say SEE! Excuse me next sir, do you hear Line B? Yes. HAH. I told you the other would say to the first. Needless to say, we will get nowhere without contribution.
Such an issue has become the cornerstone for my most recent debate with one you might recognize by the name of garbage. Through this debate I have been able to call upon much psychology knowledge, and am therefore proud to be a part of this.
When it came time to bring in some outside rulings on the issue, we drew them over one by one and essentially asked the question: what words do you hear. This audio clip was about the song: Into the fire, by Disturbed. While we agree that this is a completely badass song, our difference lies from the seconds of :36 to :38 in the following video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9jImX7s2yk . We would much love your input on the debate. As if not to add bias or priming to this topic I shall list the two possible phrases uttered within this time period in alphabetical order:
“Around eleven”
“No longer living”
Still without disclosing information I can detail some of the irony we faced. When primed for either version our subject would hear what we asked them to. This was with to fail. Excuse me sir, do you hear Line A? Yes. Then one of us would turn to the other and say SEE! Excuse me next sir, do you hear Line B? Yes. HAH. I told you the other would say to the first. Needless to say, we will get nowhere without contribution.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Of Shit Luck
Brutal optimism, while often a highly valued trait is considered an excellent way to live ones life. I would argue to the exact opposite. Pessimism, defined by myself as a lack of faith in absolutely everything, is a beautiful thing.
Take, for example, my most recent AP Exam. Sorting through every single test I took in that class I never got higher than a ‘C’. In most cases I found myself at the ‘just barely an F’ level. I walked into the test expecting full well to get rubberstamped onto a ‘2’ (AP grading scale: 1 being worst qualified, 3 being passing, and 5 being well qualified). Cold hard pessimism. I walk out thinking that I actually passed. I felt so much happier than I ever could have. And I do, and I did.
Let’s for example use the same scale. If you go in expecting a 1 and get a 3 you are going to be ecstatic – this would be pessimism. If you go in expecting a 4 and get a 3, you are going to be pissed –this would be optimism. My working definition of optimism is asking to get shit on.
Let us be honest, let us be reasonable, and let us be pessimistic. I thought I would never learn to spell pessimism, but by the end of this I have. Were I an optimist I would seek to master spelling it, not master it as much as I hoped and I would get pissed. Welcome to the jungle.
Take, for example, my most recent AP Exam. Sorting through every single test I took in that class I never got higher than a ‘C’. In most cases I found myself at the ‘just barely an F’ level. I walked into the test expecting full well to get rubberstamped onto a ‘2’ (AP grading scale: 1 being worst qualified, 3 being passing, and 5 being well qualified). Cold hard pessimism. I walk out thinking that I actually passed. I felt so much happier than I ever could have. And I do, and I did.
Let’s for example use the same scale. If you go in expecting a 1 and get a 3 you are going to be ecstatic – this would be pessimism. If you go in expecting a 4 and get a 3, you are going to be pissed –this would be optimism. My working definition of optimism is asking to get shit on.
Let us be honest, let us be reasonable, and let us be pessimistic. I thought I would never learn to spell pessimism, but by the end of this I have. Were I an optimist I would seek to master spelling it, not master it as much as I hoped and I would get pissed. Welcome to the jungle.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Yawnnn.
CS just posted OldGreg’s head. ( 1 2 3..) DOUBLE POST --CS just posted OldGreg’s head ( 1 2…) TRIPLE POST --CS just posted OldGreg’s head OWNING – POSTING SPREE –DOMINATING – WICKED SICK – UNSTOPPABLE – HEAD POST!
Sometimes that is what it feels like. I get obscenely bored nowadays and end up doing all of my posts in a slew. I feel tired… no focus… no drives… but somehow, just somehow, I manage to blog. I still won’t do this in summer, and I will probably end my session hating these blogs because the will be associated with poor grades and lethargy. Still here I am.
I will probably finish these tonight. Tomorrow I will go into school and tell the world how cool I am. Then they will know. Some will say, wow, dude, how did you do that? Some will say… man, that is so lame, but, deep down, they will be so proud of me. They will be so ashamed of themselves. We are on a system now that our success can be closely monitored. When was the last time he posted? Oh, okay. There are some of us that are far, far behind. They can not come back, and I am obscenely beyond schedule.
When I wrote in my notebook, I had college rule so the lines were really hard to fill. I got owned by people that had wide ruled. You can’t wide rule a word count. Some people find the word count to be synonymous with homosexuality.
I hate myself.
Sometimes that is what it feels like. I get obscenely bored nowadays and end up doing all of my posts in a slew. I feel tired… no focus… no drives… but somehow, just somehow, I manage to blog. I still won’t do this in summer, and I will probably end my session hating these blogs because the will be associated with poor grades and lethargy. Still here I am.
I will probably finish these tonight. Tomorrow I will go into school and tell the world how cool I am. Then they will know. Some will say, wow, dude, how did you do that? Some will say… man, that is so lame, but, deep down, they will be so proud of me. They will be so ashamed of themselves. We are on a system now that our success can be closely monitored. When was the last time he posted? Oh, okay. There are some of us that are far, far behind. They can not come back, and I am obscenely beyond schedule.
When I wrote in my notebook, I had college rule so the lines were really hard to fill. I got owned by people that had wide ruled. You can’t wide rule a word count. Some people find the word count to be synonymous with homosexuality.
I hate myself.
Kick Num Whi Daydo win
Many will tell you that this or that is an important life lesson. You need to learn to go out on a limb, you need to learn to be responsible, you need to learn empathy… ect. Of course I feel that the one most important life lessons hasn’t yet been listed, as it is in a class off its own. You need to learn to be shit on.
Some take this as the most important life lesson, some don’t acknowledge it, and some of you are still wondering what I meant when I said shit. Aside from language, I would like to keep this PG-13, and thereby can assure that I make note of no obscure fetish of cult ritual when I say: getting shit on.
In layman’s terms, and I would think according to urban dictionary, being shit on is the same as getting kicked while you are down… it is the unsportsmanlike conduct of life. Getting shit on is like coming home to find that your dad has killed himself, and because of that you lose your car. Getting shit on is studying for a test, getting an F, and then getting grounded because of it. It’s losing your job because the boss found out your wife cheated on you. It’s just plain crappy. (<--- this is a pun. The theme of this paragraph was ways to be shit on and I just used he word crap. The words ‘crap’ and ‘shit;’ are synonymous) Hilarious.
Any way, the main theme of people’s arguments on this issue all state that we need to be able to jump any hurdle, climb any mountain, ect. Various essays have been produced outlining this by such famous authors as DM. I, for the sake of arguing, would like to throw out the possibility of disagreeing. Why do we have to learn to be shit on? Work hard, and get lucky, and it will never happen.
Who says it’s too good to be true? Anyone that disagrees is a quitter jerk. All you have to do to make something come true is say it.
If only.
Some take this as the most important life lesson, some don’t acknowledge it, and some of you are still wondering what I meant when I said shit. Aside from language, I would like to keep this PG-13, and thereby can assure that I make note of no obscure fetish of cult ritual when I say: getting shit on.
In layman’s terms, and I would think according to urban dictionary, being shit on is the same as getting kicked while you are down… it is the unsportsmanlike conduct of life. Getting shit on is like coming home to find that your dad has killed himself, and because of that you lose your car. Getting shit on is studying for a test, getting an F, and then getting grounded because of it. It’s losing your job because the boss found out your wife cheated on you. It’s just plain crappy. (<--- this is a pun. The theme of this paragraph was ways to be shit on and I just used he word crap. The words ‘crap’ and ‘shit;’ are synonymous) Hilarious.
Any way, the main theme of people’s arguments on this issue all state that we need to be able to jump any hurdle, climb any mountain, ect. Various essays have been produced outlining this by such famous authors as DM. I, for the sake of arguing, would like to throw out the possibility of disagreeing. Why do we have to learn to be shit on? Work hard, and get lucky, and it will never happen.
Who says it’s too good to be true? Anyone that disagrees is a quitter jerk. All you have to do to make something come true is say it.
If only.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Revengance!
While in situations of any manner of disress, one can allways find sanctuary in the great art of revenge. Hammurabi had it right when he said have your eye taken, take their eye.
Thousands of solutuions to a single problem can be noted this way. You have wasted my time, now I shall send you McDonald's to buy me food, on foot, thank you. You have stolen my television, I shall steal yours. You have given me gohnoreeha, I must give you syphilis. You have stolen my heart, I shall steal yours (total gay). You have egged my residence, I shall egg yours.
We were playing frisbee, and I was laying down on the ground, hiding on the ground... you tripped over me and hurt my arm. It was an accident, but damned if I dont "wreck your shit right back."
So here is the root of our revenge: we are pissed off when something bad happens to us and there has got to be a way to feel as if we are not alone in our feeling of failure. Still this doesn’t always work…
The last laugher doesn’t last for long. You poke me, I bump you, You bop me, I knock you, You punch me, I slug you, You deck me, I pull a switch blade and gut you like a fish. Whoops.
That’s just how it works sometime. We as humans only like justice when it is in our favor. I just got hit… (did I just punch him twice as hard? Yes.) Time to slug that kiddo.
Thousands of solutuions to a single problem can be noted this way. You have wasted my time, now I shall send you McDonald's to buy me food, on foot, thank you. You have stolen my television, I shall steal yours. You have given me gohnoreeha, I must give you syphilis. You have stolen my heart, I shall steal yours (total gay). You have egged my residence, I shall egg yours.
We were playing frisbee, and I was laying down on the ground, hiding on the ground... you tripped over me and hurt my arm. It was an accident, but damned if I dont "wreck your shit right back."
So here is the root of our revenge: we are pissed off when something bad happens to us and there has got to be a way to feel as if we are not alone in our feeling of failure. Still this doesn’t always work…
The last laugher doesn’t last for long. You poke me, I bump you, You bop me, I knock you, You punch me, I slug you, You deck me, I pull a switch blade and gut you like a fish. Whoops.
That’s just how it works sometime. We as humans only like justice when it is in our favor. I just got hit… (did I just punch him twice as hard? Yes.) Time to slug that kiddo.
TEH GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUNTLEHT
As some of you may be presently currently aware, there is a plague a mist these lands, something out of its place, something, someone that does not belong in this world for the living, a beast comprised of no flesh and no blood, a beast constructed of pure noob, a beast that holds no ground and deserves no fortune, a beast that thinks so highly of itself for minor accomplishments such as a blog comprised of a single paragraph, and, indeed, while a decent accomplishment, it is nothing to the feat I currently attempt, a feat driven by competition and wrought with spite, a blog entry, once more, but infinitely more 1337 than any of its predecessors, not one paragraph, nay, one sentence, an entire embodiment of malice and justice, a wrongful compilation of thought and comma, as words slew and syntax cries some would say this is no longer a sentence, but once more I scream nay, for I do not cheat this establishment, I do nothing of the sort, no semicolons, no colons, and no dot dot dots, this is pure in both wit and skill as I nail the coffin shut on the phrase that we have come to live by, 08CS>SJ08, a phrase in itself without fallacy, shining through all darkness as the last ray of truth in this world, a beast in and of itself, with immeasurable strength and commitment to its cause, it is undying and a new religion, one free of obscenity, child molestation, and lies, this is the truth that someday we must all accept.
Monday, April 28, 2008
(infinity)
What do you get when you rotate a picture of the number "8" by multiplying it against the matrix
[ 0 , 1 ]
[ -1 , 0 ]
?
Answer:
the number of reasons CS>SJ.
It is in times like these that I can’t help but love myself. Brilliance radiating off of me like the stench of noob radiates off of an ACOG scorpion... or something like that. Such matters not. This debate can be argued thousands of different ways, but arguments amount to nothing.
I, backed by both truth and logic, could spout an absurd amount of reasons he is noob. Often enough I do, but this can only be settled one way.
Basically we will both sprout wings and absurd amount of physical dexterity and aptitude. Of course I already possess these things, but now they will be much more obvious. Orchestraic music will play in the background, and the singers will be singing in Latin. We will gain the ability to shoot liquid energy out of our hands in concentrated beams or orbs.
By the end we will both be bleeding profusely and somewhere along the lines we ended up fighting completely in the sky. Basically the fight will have been back and forth thousands of times by now, SJ has gotten cocky and has spouted insults the entire time. I decide to throw the last of the energy that I don’t have into one final blast.
His cockiness is thrown aside as he calls what he believes to be a bluff incorrectly. We both go flying in opposite directions toward the ground and hit with a solid thud. Two minutes later I am the first to get up I walk by his totally owned body and look down into eyes of sheer disbelief. He has been completely owned.
Of course all of this has been exaggerated, but never to the point of contradiction. Everything I have just detailed was essentially correct. SJ gets owned consistently in the end. Some say owned, some say pwned, some say “what commonly happens to SJ.” At least that is what I say.
Why do I say it? Because I am a man of truth. Cemented in the stone of the 21st century is the phrase CS>SJ.
[ 0 , 1 ]
[ -1 , 0 ]
?
Answer:
the number of reasons CS>SJ.
It is in times like these that I can’t help but love myself. Brilliance radiating off of me like the stench of noob radiates off of an ACOG scorpion... or something like that. Such matters not. This debate can be argued thousands of different ways, but arguments amount to nothing.
I, backed by both truth and logic, could spout an absurd amount of reasons he is noob. Often enough I do, but this can only be settled one way.
Basically we will both sprout wings and absurd amount of physical dexterity and aptitude. Of course I already possess these things, but now they will be much more obvious. Orchestraic music will play in the background, and the singers will be singing in Latin. We will gain the ability to shoot liquid energy out of our hands in concentrated beams or orbs.
By the end we will both be bleeding profusely and somewhere along the lines we ended up fighting completely in the sky. Basically the fight will have been back and forth thousands of times by now, SJ has gotten cocky and has spouted insults the entire time. I decide to throw the last of the energy that I don’t have into one final blast.
His cockiness is thrown aside as he calls what he believes to be a bluff incorrectly. We both go flying in opposite directions toward the ground and hit with a solid thud. Two minutes later I am the first to get up I walk by his totally owned body and look down into eyes of sheer disbelief. He has been completely owned.
Of course all of this has been exaggerated, but never to the point of contradiction. Everything I have just detailed was essentially correct. SJ gets owned consistently in the end. Some say owned, some say pwned, some say “what commonly happens to SJ.” At least that is what I say.
Why do I say it? Because I am a man of truth. Cemented in the stone of the 21st century is the phrase CS>SJ.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Super Mario
There is something very special about completing something. It is almost as if you could base everything in this world on a one hundred and twenty percent scale of completion. Say you have almost finished a task, even ninety nine percent of the way done, you do not feel half as good as if you actually had completed it.Video games are a great example. They all have some final challenge, and until that is completed you may be granted no mental sanctuary. For this reason I find that the final boss is often too easy. It is almost depressingly so, actually. To work so hard on something, and then be given a joke is almost an insult.But I see where they are coming from. Not everyone in the gaming world can be as amazing as myself (anyone see that comment coming?). Losers out there need cheats and strategy guides to get to the end… to add a task of skill to the closing only depresses the weak. How could one be so betrayed? To achieve satisfaction with a new school gamer all you have to do is beat something. Reading forums online while cheating here and there is hard enough work… … …What is an SNES?
WigglyTANK is not completely sick when it is in the possession of a noob… Cheat for rare candies and then get owned… if It takes so much work to get it right in the first place, why? S. J. is noob.
WigglyTANK is not completely sick when it is in the possession of a noob… Cheat for rare candies and then get owned… if It takes so much work to get it right in the first place, why? S. J. is noob.
Poser Pose
What do you get when you cross a kid desperate for acceptance with plaid pants, a cap with a pre-frayed brim, and an Abercrombie shirt with an oversized collar and a pocket that will never be used? Call me a jerk for pulling an R. L. Stine, but to find out turn to page 1 (the title). Before you turn back to the top of this page, keep in mind that it is crucial that you do not loop repeatedly through this paragraph.
Did you make it out? Good job. And here you think that I might be patronizing you… I would like to assure you that I have done nothing of the sort. There is a chance that I simply have entertained myself for a short burst or that maybe I have truly complimented you. Is it so hard to believe? What is the matter? Everyone needs a boost sometime. There is no need to bring you down, so I won’t.
So many things in this world are that simple. I think about crap like that… not really though. I think about crap like: why am I talking to you…? It isn’t like you are going to read this… but I thought some more and came to a conclusion. If you read this then you are reading this. If you don’t, no one will ever realize how much of my own time I have wasted. Talking to myself… you can listen if you want? That just sounds emo to me. What a shame. Laugh out loud. “Emo” is not in the Microsoft Word dictionary.
I wonder if the future can be in blogs somewhere. Not blogs themselves but the concept maybe. Psychiatry could find a strong base in it possibly. The whole psychoanalytic concept of therapy… free association say what you feel like until you just go ahead and scream your problem. What absurdity.
I play video games on www.addictinggames.com. They are fun, some don’t load right. Some aren’t fun, and some we aren’t allowed to play at school. It’s a shame really because I don’t play them at home. It is a time killer. But why kill time?
Did you make it out? Good job. And here you think that I might be patronizing you… I would like to assure you that I have done nothing of the sort. There is a chance that I simply have entertained myself for a short burst or that maybe I have truly complimented you. Is it so hard to believe? What is the matter? Everyone needs a boost sometime. There is no need to bring you down, so I won’t.
So many things in this world are that simple. I think about crap like that… not really though. I think about crap like: why am I talking to you…? It isn’t like you are going to read this… but I thought some more and came to a conclusion. If you read this then you are reading this. If you don’t, no one will ever realize how much of my own time I have wasted. Talking to myself… you can listen if you want? That just sounds emo to me. What a shame. Laugh out loud. “Emo” is not in the Microsoft Word dictionary.
I wonder if the future can be in blogs somewhere. Not blogs themselves but the concept maybe. Psychiatry could find a strong base in it possibly. The whole psychoanalytic concept of therapy… free association say what you feel like until you just go ahead and scream your problem. What absurdity.
I play video games on www.addictinggames.com. They are fun, some don’t load right. Some aren’t fun, and some we aren’t allowed to play at school. It’s a shame really because I don’t play them at home. It is a time killer. But why kill time?
Call of Newbie 4
Pop quiz: what do you call a hopeless video gamer that spends the great majority of his time in his basement playing a garbage sharp shooter game? None other than the infinitely weak, yet infinitely infamous, SJ.
I would like to begin by noting that HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. Pathetic. Observing quite simply a graph of: days that he has lived with his parents (represented by a score of 0) and days that he has not (represented by a score of 1), it is easy to see that the equation of the line to his own at any given point can be represented as: DNE Following this trend it is easy to deduce that the trend shall continue until his premature death.
Point Two: he will have a premature death. This is justifiable for two reasons: noobs die prematurely is the obvious first point. The second reason: rage. It is logical to suspect that in the premature future noob by the initials of SJ (that lives with his parents) will be dominated in a call of newbie game (he was called). It can then only logically be assumed that he will kill himself.
What is a red tiger ACOG skorpion? Quite simply the calling card of the noob. In its purest form the noob uses this weapon predominantly, often in search and destroy missions. A noob might be considered even more thuroughly noobish if they play hard core search and destroy. I am so lame? Chiggity check yourself, spraying noob.
The truth hurts, noob.
I would like to begin by noting that HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. Pathetic. Observing quite simply a graph of: days that he has lived with his parents (represented by a score of 0) and days that he has not (represented by a score of 1), it is easy to see that the equation of the line to his own at any given point can be represented as: DNE Following this trend it is easy to deduce that the trend shall continue until his premature death.
Point Two: he will have a premature death. This is justifiable for two reasons: noobs die prematurely is the obvious first point. The second reason: rage. It is logical to suspect that in the premature future noob by the initials of SJ (that lives with his parents) will be dominated in a call of newbie game (he was called). It can then only logically be assumed that he will kill himself.
What is a red tiger ACOG skorpion? Quite simply the calling card of the noob. In its purest form the noob uses this weapon predominantly, often in search and destroy missions. A noob might be considered even more thuroughly noobish if they play hard core search and destroy. I am so lame? Chiggity check yourself, spraying noob.
The truth hurts, noob.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Get Used To It
----------------------------------------------------
l...................... l ............08CS>Sj08..l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
----------------------------------------------------
l...................... l ............08CS>Sj08..l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
l...................... l ..........................l
----------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Of Being A Nerd
They say it is important to be yourself. Good advise, unfortunately, in some situations it is easier said than done. Example: if you are a nerd.
So why is it such good advice? Why else, it feels great. I quote Monty Python. I brush up infinitely on video games. I make jokes about peoples mothers. Upon hearing things that could easily interpreted sexually, I do so, and then repeat them aloud for any one who is willing to listen. Did I mention that it all feels great?
But is being yourself only a guilty pleasure? Is doing what I like to do okay? After all, most behavior results in some degree of social suicide. Questions never stop coming though. Who cares about a social life? Is being an outcast who is himself better than being a popular kid who goes home every night and plays dungeons and dragons? Where do we draw the line? Can we truly choose rationally? What stays the same? What stays with us? Can I be myself later? Can I fit in later? Who cares? Who doesn’t? Does what I do today really affect how I am tomarrow? Why do I even wonder? Sad. Some day.
So why is it such good advice? Why else, it feels great. I quote Monty Python. I brush up infinitely on video games. I make jokes about peoples mothers. Upon hearing things that could easily interpreted sexually, I do so, and then repeat them aloud for any one who is willing to listen. Did I mention that it all feels great?
But is being yourself only a guilty pleasure? Is doing what I like to do okay? After all, most behavior results in some degree of social suicide. Questions never stop coming though. Who cares about a social life? Is being an outcast who is himself better than being a popular kid who goes home every night and plays dungeons and dragons? Where do we draw the line? Can we truly choose rationally? What stays the same? What stays with us? Can I be myself later? Can I fit in later? Who cares? Who doesn’t? Does what I do today really affect how I am tomarrow? Why do I even wonder? Sad. Some day.
Of Homosexuals
My little brother Mark I full blown gay. Not only can he not take a hint, he doesn’t know when to shut up, or in some cases when to speak up. The worst part is that most of the people I know would find no logical fallacy in the statement.
So when did homosexuality miraculously become synonymous with everything that we don’t like? It’s hard to say, but we do. That’s gay, you’re gay, gay gay. Gay. Obscene, is it not? Yet it is so deeply imbedded in our culture. Most ironically, its implementation makes no sense whatsoever.
Let’s just say that I hate walruses. If I find something else that I hate, and wish to admit it verbally, it doesn’t make sense for me to scream, “That is so freaking walrus!” Do you know what I’m saying? Where I’m coming from? Even further into the pit of analogy I might draw up more questions. What did the walruses ever do to me?
It is only natural to assume that a man, even obscure enough to have developed a hate for walruses, has never been sexually assaulted, wronged, or raped by a walrus. The only thing the man may hold for it is fear. Strange.
So when did homosexuality miraculously become synonymous with everything that we don’t like? It’s hard to say, but we do. That’s gay, you’re gay, gay gay. Gay. Obscene, is it not? Yet it is so deeply imbedded in our culture. Most ironically, its implementation makes no sense whatsoever.
Let’s just say that I hate walruses. If I find something else that I hate, and wish to admit it verbally, it doesn’t make sense for me to scream, “That is so freaking walrus!” Do you know what I’m saying? Where I’m coming from? Even further into the pit of analogy I might draw up more questions. What did the walruses ever do to me?
It is only natural to assume that a man, even obscure enough to have developed a hate for walruses, has never been sexually assaulted, wronged, or raped by a walrus. The only thing the man may hold for it is fear. Strange.
The next big problem with language arts…
Periodically I feel I must do what I am now accustomed to do: complain. Once again I do what has now almost become ritual: complete homework while bitching about it. I will never like L.A., but there is something even more definite than this –I will never get a good grade in an L.A. class.
The audience, after hearing this most recent statement, is undoubtedly split on what to think of this. Some of you may note that fact to be an absolute travesty, noting that my ability is astounding and infallible. Some of you may agree with it, looking back on what outsiders might consider a lack of effort. I would say that both parties are incorrect.
What makes me do poorly in L.A. is the fact that I suck. Ironically, while most find it a simple class: the study of the language that they use EVERY DAMN DAY OF THEIR LIVES. Hell, we even THINK about things in English. But there is a catch. It is all too easy to have enough to get by in such a class. Can you read? Can you write? Can you sound things out? – if you answered yes to any two of those you are hired.
Unfortunately, if I can get by with something I will. Big surprise. Over the years, my skills have done nothing but degenerate. Reading as little as possible and writing to match for all of my high school career, my vocabulary has seen no improvement, and in fact, I now reside on the low end of reading and comprehension. I can’t spell either.
Here in lies moral: the reason I hate this class. There is no easy way out. You can’t cram for English. There is nothing more to learn to significantly improve your success. All you can do is practice –something I haven’t been doing for quite some time. Thanks to this I must accept my fate. It will lower my college entrance exam scores and keep my ITED composite score down as well. Every test in the world is first a reading test and then a test of the subject. I will get there someday.
The audience, after hearing this most recent statement, is undoubtedly split on what to think of this. Some of you may note that fact to be an absolute travesty, noting that my ability is astounding and infallible. Some of you may agree with it, looking back on what outsiders might consider a lack of effort. I would say that both parties are incorrect.
What makes me do poorly in L.A. is the fact that I suck. Ironically, while most find it a simple class: the study of the language that they use EVERY DAMN DAY OF THEIR LIVES. Hell, we even THINK about things in English. But there is a catch. It is all too easy to have enough to get by in such a class. Can you read? Can you write? Can you sound things out? – if you answered yes to any two of those you are hired.
Unfortunately, if I can get by with something I will. Big surprise. Over the years, my skills have done nothing but degenerate. Reading as little as possible and writing to match for all of my high school career, my vocabulary has seen no improvement, and in fact, I now reside on the low end of reading and comprehension. I can’t spell either.
Here in lies moral: the reason I hate this class. There is no easy way out. You can’t cram for English. There is nothing more to learn to significantly improve your success. All you can do is practice –something I haven’t been doing for quite some time. Thanks to this I must accept my fate. It will lower my college entrance exam scores and keep my ITED composite score down as well. Every test in the world is first a reading test and then a test of the subject. I will get there someday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)