Call of Newbie 4

Pop quiz: what do you call a hopeless video gamer that spends the great majority of his time in his basement playing a garbage sharp shooter game? None other than the infinitely weak, yet infinitely infamous, SJ.

I would like to begin by noting that HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. Pathetic. Observing quite simply a graph of: days that he has lived with his parents (represented by a score of 0) and days that he has not (represented by a score of 1), it is easy to see that the equation of the line to his own at any given point can be represented as: DNE Following this trend it is easy to deduce that the trend shall continue until his premature death.

Point Two: he will have a premature death. This is justifiable for two reasons: noobs die prematurely is the obvious first point. The second reason: rage. It is logical to suspect that in the premature future noob by the initials of SJ (that lives with his parents) will be dominated in a call of newbie game (he was called). It can then only logically be assumed that he will kill himself.

What is a red tiger ACOG skorpion? Quite simply the calling card of the noob. In its purest form the noob uses this weapon predominantly, often in search and destroy missions. A noob might be considered even more thuroughly noobish if they play hard core search and destroy. I am so lame? Chiggity check yourself, spraying noob.

The truth hurts, noob.